Christmas is Good

I actually started up another blog on one of the days last week. It was meant to be a private little diary with restricted access, in which I can express my most genuine feelings and views in. But the next day, I happily forgot what login name and password I used. I wonder why I have such an unbelieveable poor memory. I didn't bother to attempt to retrieve the password because I felt that it was probably fated that I clean forgot the login name and password to that private little diary. It was not meant to be.

To my surprise, I actually got responses w.r.t what I wrote in my blog. Keith smsed me to send regards because he felt that I wasn't feeling too happy lately. Appreciate the concern. Vincent smsed me with words of advice, thank you too. Worthwhile friends definitely make this world a nicer place to be in. In one's lifetime, one or two of such friends are enough.

Christmas is coming soon. I'm bent on enjoying the season. I must. Trying my best to keep work off my mind. I'm the terrible sort of person who always have work on my mind even after I get off work. Simply just cannot get work off my mind on matter how hard I try. I'm starting to feel that its because I've got some genes that makes me like this.

Christmas is my favourite festival. It has always been and will always be. Every single thing about christmas just makes me very comfortable and happy. Its just a pity that there isn't snow in singapore. Real snow, not artificially generated ones from crystalline water. Snow completes Christmas.

Its been a year since I last started working after university. Its probably time to seek for a better job with a better renumeration. I need time. Time to update my resume, search around for jobs and also to prep myself mentally to go out there for interviews again. But I don't have the time. My weekends are always sacrificed on catching up with paperwork, reports and reading science journals. Maybe thats also why I can't get work off my mind since there's simply no chance to.

Damnit.
Someone is still very irritating after so many damn years. An eyesore. A thorn in the flesh.
She just refuses to steer clear. Her target in life is probably just to be this consistent gnawing interference in my already not-so-peaceful life. I wish I can just use a wonderbroom to sweep her away from the surface of this universe. Irritating people must be gotten rid of, once and for all. She probably finds me irritating too. But I don't care. I don't have to.

I know I probably sound quite petty. But well, no one can understand how I feel lor. So I don't bother to explain. So you all don't have to ask, because there is just no way to explain how I feel towards her unless you've been in my shoes.

What if I'm really a petty person? I don't care two hoots man. I have my rights to be petty. I have my own justified reasons to be a petty person too. People who really know me well would understand what I'm like.

Slept the whole day today. Just felt like sleeping and doing nothing else. Followed my heart. Left my work and everything aside and just slept as if the rest of the world is non-existent. Nice. Slept after lunch, slept after dinner. Supposed to be sleeping now, but felt too hungry like I'm on the verge of having gastric. So I got up and ate. So now that I'm full, all I felt like doing was to blog, to write. And so I followed my heart again.

Its been such a long time since I did something just because I felt like doing. Everything that I did since after university was because there were reasons to them. I had to put up with shit at work because I need the money. I had to control myself from buying what I felt like because the money is to be spent on all the bills in the house. I had to control myself from eating what I felt like because my dad needs his medicine and physiotherapy. I had to pretend to be nice and happy at work because my parents are solely dependant on me.

Really admire those people who are not the sole breadwinner of the family. Maybe I'm the terrible sort of person who can't take hardships. Maybe I'm not strong enough. God knows. But it doesn't matter anyway.

Man this entry is really long. I said that all I ever want to do now is to blog, to write. I'm enjoying it.

But I got to go to bed now and return to reality once my alarm clock rings at 5:30am.

May a better job come along soon. May Christmas come soon. May my life be more exciting and happier soon!

Ganbatte.