Cyanide

Ah. I'm sick. The left side of my throat hurts like hell. I get fever once in a while. Bodyaches. There is some flu spreading around. Must be that guy on the bus who sneezed without covering up his mouth. The damn freaking idiot was sitting behind me. He sneezed damn loudly. I know he did not cover his mouth because, right after he sneezed, we can feel (and smell) saliva. I just felt like kicking his groin, but I wasn't wearing heels that day. Ballet flats don't have much impact.

Ah. Been working for almost 8 months already. 8 sickening months, to be exact. 8 sickening months of seeing no money even though salary is actually coming in every month. Great. Looking forward to payday every month just to spend them on bills and study loans. That horrible stack of bills every month. I'm getting a phobia of opening the letterbox already. That terrible stack of receipts generated every month from the household expenses. Those terrifying deductions made by the bank for my study loan. Makes me wonder why on earth did I further my studies in the first place. For better prospects? Oh yea. 3 years of slogging and getting into study debts to get a Bachelors. Just to realise that I can actually get a higher salary if I didn't go to the uni and continued working after poly until now. Just to realise that I'm actually of the lowest educated in my freaking lab and ending up with a crappy workload consisting of jobs that the-higher-educated people doesn't need to do. Oh. How I lament.

I've already tried to cut down everything that I can cut down on. Should I start eating grass and drinking air instead? I don't ever think I can have proper savings if this goes on. I'll probably just have unsettled debts, unsettled debts and more unsettled debts. Not to forget the snowballing hospital bills that is still actively snowballing every minute. Can I pay for all this with my life instead?

Ah. Be more optimistic. I probably will find a much better paying job after I get my experience. Or I probably will strike big sweep or toto grand prize someday. Maybe I'll suddenly inherit a large fortune from some unknown relative that has somehow willed his fortune to me without my knowledge? Ah.

Interesting fact that I came across on an interesting website that I'm not going to disclose in case you all think I'm suicidal or something. Do you know that pear seeds contain cyanide? Yea. But they aren't in such a high amount that'll kill you if you happen to swallow a few of that seeds. But that means that if you collect a big cupful of pear seeds and harvest the cyanide out of them you could more likely get an amount of cyanide that can easily kill.

I'm hungry now. I feel like eating instant mee goreng. But its simply too late to eat now. And anyway, there isn't any more instant mee goreng left in the house. I shall go sleep now. Shall go to work tomorrow. I'll expect to see a blackface awaiting me in the lab tomorrow since I took MC today. Oh well. My life is just full of such craps.

Till next time!
Out!