All about Friends

How many good friends do you have? Or rather, exactly how many friends do you have that are worth keeping? How many friends will stand by you when you are in shit?

I can tell you that, when I seriously think about it, I haven't got many. Its so hard to even try to squeeze out a few.

There are some friends that will only come to you when they need your help, or only when they meet shit elsewhere and they happen to need a friend.

There are some that will come to you only when there's fun to be enjoyed. Always hang out together but deep inside your heart you really really know that you can't count on him or her when there's any shit.

There are some that you will always lend a listening ear and a shoulder for him or her to cry on. But he or she doesn't lend you the same when you need 'em.

There are some that are damn nice to you on the surface. But behind your back they are actually trying to compete and compare themselves to you. They can't stand you faring better than them in anyway.

There are some that doesn't reciprocate your kind intentions.

There are some that you know them for ages already, but sometimes they still do things to make you feel that you still don't and will never understand them well enough.

There are..There are..the list just continues.

But there are also good people out there that can be good friends.

There are those that you don't see them often. But there is a common silent trust between you and him or her that there is always help available if you are in some kind of shit.

There are those that you rarely meet up with them. But you know that the friendship will last long.

There are those that you are always missing but there is seldom an opportunity to talk to them, not to mention to meet up with them.

There are those that reciprocate your kind intentions.

Etc. Etc.

So it comes to the issue of: Do we really need friends?
I used to need friends alot when I was in primary and secondary school. I'd feel ultra uncomfortable if I were to have lunch or hang out alone. It'll make me feel as if the whole world has the company of friends except me. I'd rather skip lunch or skip going out if I have to do it alone. It just felt super awkward to be in the absence of company.

As I grew older I began to realise that most people can only be superficial friends. I began to have lose trust in friends after being through some issues. I have some that are ok, but I can't be sure that they will even try to help me if I'm in some shit. As years passed by, friends decreased and aquantainces aka hi-bye friends increased. I'm much more comfortable being alone as compared to last time. I can have lunch alone, go shopping alone, do stuffs alone. Its really better to be alone than to be in the company of people you don't really click with. Maybe some people will consider this antisocial. But if I'm comfortable and confident when I'm alone, why not. Of course its good to have company, but like I said, its always better to be alone than in the company of people that you are not comfortable with. Either 0 or 100.

Yah so much about friends. Out of so many categories of friends that I've listed above, touch your heart and seriously think about which category you are in. If you are in the good category, stay that way. If you are in the bad category, so be it. I've long given up hope.

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I realised that my recent entries are getting longer. I will cut this entry here and put it as another one.