Of shoes, clothes and dogs

I didn't have time for lunch today. So all I had today was a hotdog bun during breakfast, minimal plain water throughout the day, and 2 candies.

*****

Do you think, in this world, there is someone who can understand another person totally? I don't really think so, because sometimes I don't understand myself. If you can't even understand yourself totally, its not possible that there is someone else who can understand you perfectly. Correct? No?

*****

What should I wear tomorrow? I think I should wear nice nice. But there ain't really any point of doing so since I won't be going anywhere fun. I'll just be going to work and to the hospital. Ya and I mean going back to work. I'm supposed to be on a five-day week. But wearing nice nice makes me feel happier, so I think, before I sleep, I'll go pick out a nice combi of clothes for tomorrow.

And oh, I'm kinda fedup with my bubble skirts. Because most of them are no more bubbly. After the several many-but-not-that many rounds of washing, the fabric has kinda erm flatten down. So they don't look like bubble skirts anymore. I loved my bubble skirts you know. Its so sad, so sad. Sad beyond words.

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My fingers are feeling retarded now. They feel very tired. Fingers feeling tired, fancy that. It must be because of that damn bone marrow experiment today. 5 hours of grasping and cutting tiny teeny weeny mice leg bones and needles using the not-at-all-efficient forceps and scissors. Its not ergonomic at all, not at all. This is a serious job hazard. Continue doing this and my hands will soon look like they belong to some old woman's. Premature aging of the hands. And oh, my feet too. Remember the veins that I always complain about? Ya thats premature aging as well.

*****

Its been like 1 week since I last blogged? Thats so sad, I must try to blog more often. But its so damn difficult to stay awake infront of the computer at night after a day's work. Haha.

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Would you want to be reincarnated as a human again? I'd rather not, unless its guaranteed that I can be reincarnated as a RICH, RICH, RICH human. If not, then I'd rather be reincarnated as a green leaf or maybe a rich man's pet dog.

If you are a dog, would you want to be a stray dog? A stray has lotsa freedom but has to worry about finding food and a proper shelter.

Or would you rather be someone's pet dog? No freedom to run around but no worries about finding food and a nice shelter.

*****

I've taken a liking to pointy shoes lately. I mean the normally pointy kind, not the ultra horrible super extreme pointy kind that is so bitchy-slutty.

Come on, pointy shoes please suddenly fall from the sky. Then I can pick them up and have a good variety to match my clothes with. That'll be way cool.

Have a good long weekend.

Out!

I'm deprived of Oxygen

I'm breathless, deprived of proper oxygen. My throat is dry, like crap. My eyes are teary, a little swollen. My head feels light. My brain is blurred......
I'VE GOT BLOCKED NOSE! DAMNIT! DAMNNIT! DAMNIT!

*****

If you were to be reincarnated, and you could choose what you wanna be in your next life, what would you wanna be?

I wanna be a.....hmm....um...Green Leaf, cos' the photosynthesis system is cool. Hoho.

*****

Retro is good. I like retro-ness. Retro-ness with style, of course. Not that kind of ultimate old ulu retro-ness.

*****

Hmm should I just go pierce my earlobes so that I can wear earrings?

Pros:

1. Can wear nice nice earrings and look nice.

2. One extra thing to look at when I windowshop.

3. Can discuss about earrings with the girls.

4. Can wear those really retro earrings and irritate people around me by being ultimately retro.

5. Can match earrings with my mood everyday.

Cons:

1. Waste money on buying earrings.

2. Risk of getting infection at the holes on the earlobes.

3. What if I'm allergic to earrings that are not real silver or gold? Then will seriously seriously have a problem bcos' my choices of earrings will be so damn limited. Then life will be more miserable.

Verdict: Nopes, not going to get my ears pierced.

*****

My legs are very very tired. Overstressed by walking too much on my pointed ballet flats. My toes are aching, my ankles are aching, my heels are aching. I need a foot massage. One of those professional foot massage will do me good. I feel that iSqueeze doesn't really work as well as the genunine human hands. Tried it a few times. It does help a little bit, but doesn't do that whole lot of good. Or maybe my weird feet shape is not suited to the iSqueeze machine? Or maybe my feet size is not suited to it? Hmm. But it should fit everyone's feet universally mah, right?

*****

Wisma Atria level 4 got this surprisingly nice foodcourt. Its my favourite foodcourt among all the other foodcourts. I like the theme there. Very retro. They make it like the olden times. Got people pushing pushcarts around, selling Dimsum. And got this indian brudder walking around selling indian snacks, dressed very, very traditionally. The aunties and uncles clearing the plates are also wearing those kind of olden type of clothes. Cute. And the stallholders wear strawhats! Those olden type which the hawkers always wear. And the signboards were designed to look like the ones that came from the when-our-parents-were-young-and-we-weren't-even-born-yet era. The utensils too! And the cutest thing is that they actually play those old songs. Those that sound like they are coming from some damn ulu old records.

Cute. Kool.

*****

I've taken a sudden, intense liking to Gingko nuts and lotus seeds lately. Especially Gingko nuts. Its nice. Its nice. Its nice. Its nice. Its nice. Its nice. Gingko nuts, lotus seeds, dry longan cooked in sugared soup. OoOoOoh. And its supposed to be healthy right?

And yah Gingko nuts are supposed to enhance memory power or something? I seriously need to boost up my memory power. Getting progressively more blur as I age. I'm much more forgetful lately too. Just like the Nemo's friend the Dory.

*****

It has just started raining, meaning bedtime.

Goodnight.

Out!

10 things I like

I like the sounds of church bells.

I like the sight of falling leaves.

I like the smell of toluene in whiteboard markers.

I like the taste of thick, dark chocolate.

I like the sight of icecubes floating in clear sparkling water.

I like the blue of coppersulphate crystals.

I like the smell of the chlorinated swimming pool.

I like the pureness of white.

I like the sight of poohbear together with all his friends.

I like the shiny-ness of rodium.

Italics!!

I feel like typing all in italics tonight.

Its cool to type in italics.

Italics font look very round and curvey.

I'm gonna bold the italics.

Do you like italics?

I don't really use italics unless I suddenly have the mood for it.

I never never will type in italics on MSN.

Do you type in italics on MSN?

Why are italics called italics?

Italics originated from Italy?

The more I look at the word Italics, the more it looks funny, as though its spelt wrongly.

Italics, Italics, Italics.

ITALICS, ITALICS, ITALICS.

Doesn't the word italics look wrong to you the more you look at it?

I think italicised words look kinda silly

My, I'm in a italicised mood tonight.

Lets make big Italics.

ITALICS ITALICS ITALICS

ITALICS in caps look less italicised.

Italics in small letters look more italicised.

Bold-ed Italics look more Italicised.

Do you agree? Do you agree? Do you agree?

Facts About Me

I do it when I think I have confidence to do it. Even with the slightest minimal confidence, I will attempt to do it.

I do not feel good to be constantly being reminded of things that I already know. Because I already know them. It makes me feel stupid if someone keeps trying to remind me of things that I already know perfectly.

I do not bother to talk to people that I can't stand. Even if its only their looks that I can't stand. I stereotype people by their looks.

I sulk and scowl badly on the mrt if I'm in a bad mood, even if no one on the train has offended me.

Although I'm open to suggestions from others, I do not like to be told what to do. It just makes me feel stupid. I know what I should do and what I will do.

I'm a possessive person. I label all my stationeries with my name. I protect my things as much as I can protect them. I hate others coming near to things that I own, especially those that I love alot.

I am prepared to do despicable things to get others away from things that I love alot.

No one should take my things away from me, unless I give them away on my own accord.

No one should tell me how I should spend my money. If I waste all my fortune away, it'll be my own problem.

When I want to, I want to. Don't tell me I cannot. Or at the very least, tell me very very very nicely.

Sometimes I tend to think too much and form false impressions.

I do not like to be slapped by logical arguments when I'm in an argument. I believe feelings and emotions matter as much as logic. Pure logic don't work in all cases, for god's sake.

Sometimes I yearn to own something not because I really like it that much. I want to own it because I do not want someone else to have it.

There are alot of things that I hate not because I really dislike them. Its because they remind me of that person which I don't like.

I can hate a person even if I haven't even talked to him or her before. Its mostly a her. Seldom a he.

I hope to see slutty-looking, flirtatious girls die.

I like to play mind games.

I feel that most of the people in this world is up to some tricks that may harm me.

I am very wary of being betrayed. Betrayal is 1 of the biggest worst lousiest feeling that anyone can experience.

I secretly wish that all unfaithful men can be suffocated and crushed with tons of wet cement. Cheating on their woman is 1 of the biggest, most disgusting, most horrible, most unforgivable sin that any men can commit.

Grumpy Chronicles

I am always, always, always tired.

Permanently sleepy.

I have never been this tired in my entire life so far.

So tired that I fall asleep while drinking water. So tired that I get frustrated when I don't get enough things done. So tired that I don't chat to people on msn anymore. So tired that I lack the interest to go shopping. So tired that I'm lazy to talk properly. So tired that I'm actually blogging about being tired.

Its sick.

I can sleep right after dinner till 2am. And continue to sleep from 3am till 9am. And I still feel tired.

It doesn't matter how much sleep I get. I've attempted to sleep early. And to get more sleep during weekends. It doesn't work.

This is ridiculous.

Just very wrong. Maybe its cos I'm going mad? Maybe its cos my body doesn't rest even though I'm sleeping? Maybe its cos my brainwaves are wrong? Maybe its cos I'm suffering from some ridiculous hidden sickness? Maybe its cos of wrong fengshui? Maybe its cos I'm really growing old prematurely? Maybe its cos I'm lazy by nature? Maybe its a psychological problem? Maybe its cos I'm tired with life as it is?

Everyday I pretend to be not tired. I pretend to be enthusiastic. I don't appear as tired as I actually am.

*****

Sometimes when I grumble about things, its doesn't mean that I need suggestions on how to solve the issues. I often grumble about things that I already know the solutions to. Its just plain grumbling. Getting it off my chest. Suggesting staring, obvious logical solutions to me or trying to analyse the situations for me will only make me feel even more grumpy. Sometimes it makes me feel stupid if logical solutions are suggested right into my face. Makes me feel as if you are thinking that I'm not smart enough to know the logical solution to the problem. The best input will be to listen. To make jokes about it. Or to grumble together.

*****

I'm too hungry to sleep. So I'm eating abit while blogging. No msn cos I'm tired. Just enough energy left to eat a few chips and to blog a few paragraphs.

*****

I was filling out some financial analysis forms today. It was then that I realised that I don't have much of a life. No entertainment costs. No recreation/hobbies costs. Not even anything spent on movies. Believe it or not, its been eons since I last watched a movie. The most expensive food that I eat has to be Macdonalds' only. No cable TV costs. So why am I still so broke?

*****

Faithful but poor. Or unfaithful but rich.

Faithful but poor? Got heart but no money.

Unfaithful but rich? Got money but no heart.

Is money more important than heart? Or the heart more important than money?

Money can buy us pretty things. Money can buy us alot of things. It can even buy health under certain circumstances.

Heart can provide mental support but it cannot be used to pay for anything.

So is psychological wellbeing more important than materialistic wellbeing?

Can one survive on psychological wellbeing alone without money?

Can one survive on money alone without psychological wellbeing?

Exactly which one will be more worthwhile?

I think I probably can survive on money alone without psychological wellbeing.

******

Sometimes one can't help it if another is unhappy with him/her. Because sometimes life is such a way that it is destined for one to choose what he/she is destined to choose.

Under such circumstances, no words need to be said. A little time will naturally bring everything back to normal.

*****

I have to breathe with my mouth open every single night when I sleep. Its damn sickening. My nasal passage is lousy. Nose is permanently blockedup. Nasal spray have a low duration of effectivity on me. Is this sinusitis? Can I goddamn do anything else to correct this problem?

Hmm.

Hope everyone has a good weekend. Out!

What Ifs

What if I was never born?

What if I had only 3 more months to live?

What if I die with regrets?

What if all clouds are red in colour?

What if grasses are not green?

What if I'm 1000 million bucks richer?

What if I'm a beggar?

What if there is no water on earth?

What if you hate me?

What if I'm suffering in agony?

What if I'm pretty?

What if I become the only one left in this world?

What if aliens invade our world?

What if I'm blind?

What if I kill myself?

What if the sky is neon pink in colour?

What if the moon is square?

What if stars cease to twinkle?

What if I suffer from some terminal disease?

What if the universe is devoid of living things?

What if I cease breathing?

A super Short Update

Oh Damn. My hair was cut abit too short for my liking. Realistically speaking not very very short, but yah too short for my liking.

Yup just a very short update tonight!

Out!

Ant or Snail?

Would you rather be an ant or a snail?

Both face the risk of getting squashed by walking feet. But a squashed snail definitely looks way more awful than a squashed ant.

For this, I would rather be an ant.

*****

Can you imagine how small an ant's brain is? I'm talking about tiny ants that crawl around the ground. Tiny ants are the size of a..dot? a full-stop? Can you imagine how small their brains will be then? Microscopic brain.

*****

Miss Universe Singapore 2006. All of them goddamn can't answer the questions properly. Except the 2 indian ones. I wonder what's in their brain.

And Miss big boobs won the Miss Body Beautiful title. You mean the size of one's boobs is used to measure how beautiful the body is? You mean proportionality doesn't count at all?

Out!

Listerine

Tonight I have to say something about Listerine.

Its DAMN DAMN DAMN awful! It numbed my whole mouth and tongue. Omg. Am I supposed to dilute it with water before I use it? But the instructions didn't say so. It said to gargle full strength for 30 seconds.

Omg. Tomorrow I have to use it again. At least use it until my gingivitis clears up. I hope it works though.

And now my whole throat feels tight. Maybe it was traumatised by the Listerine, although I didn't swallow it.

Man I'm feeling as if my whole mouth and throat was frostbitten by liquid nitrogen or something.

*****

I realised that Chen Weilian really talented. Although his guitar looks old-fashioned. Didn't think much of him until I reviewed his album. He managed to sound different in all his different songs. So each song gives a different feeling. It would be a very good album if not for the fact that not all the songs are newly written ones. Its absolutely not true that he won because of sympathy votes.

Much better than that Kelly Poon. Her voice is just plain noise. Irritates my eardrums.

*****

Its been sometime since I last sung. Now I don't even sing when I'm at home. Used to sing alot.

*****

I don't know why the hell I'm still not sleeping at this time. I should be resting.

*****

Last night I dreamt that my dad is discharged from the hospital. He walked home in his hospital pyjamas. He seemed rather healthy. Today afternoon I dreamt that I was in hospital feeding my dad sweets. He seemed quite happy.

Are dreams supposed to be the opposite of reality?

*****

Really grown old already. I remembered during poly days I could actually go online until 6am without feeling half as tired as I am now. ICQ and IRC was the rage at that time. Haha. Well it was not bad. I found a friend or two that were worth keeping. You know who you are. Haha.

*****

Boss will be off to Canada for a conference from the 18th to the 21st. I shan't elaborate more. You should know how I feel!

Out!

GiddyGiddy

I was reading through all my blog entries, from the very first to the most recent ones. I realised that:
1. In 2005 I was still quite a happy kid.
2. I haven't got any Birkenstock Slippers yet. And probably will never get it.
3. I had way too many photos of pics up here on my blog in 2005 entries.
4. Some of the 2005 entries seemed rather childish.
5. I sounded more carefree in the past.
6. I had become much grumpier now compared to 2005.
7. I had probably grown up alot more than I was in 2005.
8. I had learnt to appreciate the people around me more.
9. There is a big decrease in the number of photos in my blog since the start of 2006.
10. The interface of my blog doesn't look nice.

*****

I'm feeling kind of bad because I didn't go visit dad today. Because I went to see a doctor. Because I have a sudden attack of giddyness while at work.

*****

My toothache is caused by this wisdom tooth that, according to the doctor, is in a horizontal position instead of the normal vertical position.The ache is because of infection there, so tomorrow I'm gonna buy Listerine.

I got lots more to blabber on, but I need to sleep now.

So....gdnite!

Out!

Red clipboards are creepy and traumatising

25 years of my life and I've never seen my dad shed a single tear. Until these few days. I don't think he's mentally strong enough to withstand the dreary long hospital stay anymore.

I don't know what else to say about this. Makes me wanna cry.

*****

I feel like eating cornflakes now. With chilled fresh milk.

*****

I've got toothache at my right side. I hope its not decay. I always brush my teeth thoroughly every night. If its decay then I've really got nothing to say. Maybe I'll try Listerine in case its a gum infection. Ouch. If its decay then I'll have to go see a dentist. I do have a phobia of dentists. Maybe its cos' I was traumatised by the fierce and inhumane dental nurse in primary school. Really fierce. I believe all primary school dental nurses are fierce. Ok Ok I don't wanna stereotype so let me rephrase. I believe most primary school dental nurses are fierce.

I still remember the dental nurse always carry this red clipboard around. Since then I've always feared red clipboards. Serious. Till now I still don't like red clipboards. Red Clipboards are creepy and traumatising. Really.

*****

Do you like all the things that you've used before? As in like handphones or any item. Do you still like them after you've used them? For me it really depends. Largely depends on what memories it triggers. If it reminds me of not-so-good memories, its not possible for me to remain liking it.

But I wouldn't discard used items that gives me bad memories. I do not know why. Probably bcos' I'm a weird person. I kinda get a kick out of having bad memories once in a while. I'm very used to having emotional baggage.

*****

How's your dress sense? Is it good?

One person said my dress sense is sometimes childish in a way. Another said that my dress sense is always too predictable. I've always though my dress sense is ok what. Sometimes weird but still ok, I feel. Its good to be childish once in a while. Its good to be retro once in a while. As for predictability, I admit that I have too many bubble skirts.

Oh, and I have no jeans at all. Quit wearing them since I graduated from poly. My mom says I look totally awful in jeans. When I look into the mirror in jeans, I look like bamboo sticks. Maybe thats cos' I haven't found the perfect cutting of jeans for myself yet?

*****

Michael Buble's 'Home' is real nice. Makes me sad.

Am I right to say that sad songs are normally more popular than happy songs?

Going off to bed.

Its Friday already. I'm both happy and sad.

Out!

High-arch

Elaine, I fully understand how you are feeling w.r.t the latest entry in your blog.

*****

I happen to see my secschool classmate at Raffles that day. Once had this big crush on him when I was in sec school. Looking at him again, I suddenly realised that my idea of a goodlooking guy has changed drastically over the years.

*****

Wil brought up a crappy idea over supper. Renting families. Haha. Imagine there are families for rent. So all the singles can have a taste of having their own family with kids whenever they like, by renting a family over the weekend, without the commitments and obligations of starting up a real family of their own. Imagine that. Can have a choice of an obedient kid, a notti kid, a fat kid, a slim kid etc.

*****

I'm squinting my eyes as I'm typing this bcos I've got no specs on. No specs on cos' I'm doing this mask for like 15 minutes.

Lasik is good. I will go for Lasik one day when I'm loaded. I hope by then my myopia won't be too high, so that Lasik can still correct them. Imagine one day when I have no need to wear specs. I can draw my eyes properly. I can put Mascara.

I can't wear contact lens. Damned thing. Or at least, I can't wear them for more than 3 hours. My eyes will be very, very dry. No amount of artificial tears helps. It will be so dry that I develop a blurred vision.

I think I'm kinda destined to wear specs for the rest of my life. Cos' I don't think I can ever have extra money for Lasik. Cos' my dry eyes hates contact lens. If I'm destined to be wearing specs for the rest of my life, then I think its time to change to a more stylo looking pair of specs.

*****

I'm very glad that I'm the type of person who can just sit down infront of the computer and blog about random things whenever I feel like blogging. No particular topic, no particular feelings. Just very random. Randomness is good.

*****

What countries would you like to visit?

For me it'll be Europe, Turkey, Japan, Greece. No Korea for me though. I don't like Korea. Europe will have many different parts that I wanna go to. Japan is good. Hongkong maybe. Bcos I can buy lotsa things there. No Taiwan for me. No Thailand too. Greece is beautiful.

*****

Had this Feet scan today. It was free, so why not. They used this computerised scanning machine to capture an imprint of my feet on a scanning plate. It identifies pressure points of the feet to find out the feet types and gait. It turned out that my feet is of the high-arched type. This means that much pressure is exerted on my toes and heels bcos' the centre arch is too high to be of any good support on the ground. People having high-arched feet are prone to lower leg injuries and some other stuffs that I cannot remember. Interesting.

*****

Gotta go for bath and sleep now. Busy day ahead. Out!